Read the story here.
Best quote: "Parents should forget about their children's self-esteem and concentrate in instilling self-control." (Roy Baumeister, PhD, professor of psychology at Florida State University in Tallahassee)
Hands down, that's the smartest thing I've ever heard any psychologist say.
Hands down, that's the smartest thing I've ever heard any psychologist say.
Solomon responds:
Proverbs 25:28 A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.
self-control = Heb. MA'TSAR - restraint
Proverbs 6:23 For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life
Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.
Proverbs 23:13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.
Proverbs 29:17 Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.
Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.
Proverbs 23:13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.
Proverbs 29:17 Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.
Note: The author manages to add some psycho-babble to her interpretation of the study results, and the article stops far short of recommending the Biblical practice of spanking as a means of instilling self-control in children. As always, discernment is recommended.
Wow that quote from Baumeister is money. "Self-esteem" - what a dangerous notion! "Self" will always think too highly of...itself! Our kids so desperately need a true picture of themselves - how can any of us feel the need for a Savior when we've spent our lives telling ourselves how fabulous we are? Crazy. Of course along with a healthy dose of reality, we must shower our children with parental love and faithfulness and grace even as we discipline them. Isn't this how our Heavenly Father deals with us? And doesn't "daddy know best?" :)
ReplyDeletebtw - great quote from Solomon...:D
Blaine,
ReplyDeleteGood words. Especially important is the balance you mentioned:
"along with a healthy dose of reality, we must shower our children with parental love and faithfulness and grace even as we discipline them.
Biblical parenting is above all Gospel-centered and filled with both grace and truth.
A great parenting book is "The Heart of Anger" by Lou Priolo. It's about dealing with our children's anger and rebellion. But the first chapter is all about the way parental anger can exasperate our children make their problem worse. So we have to start by taking the log out of our own eye. Better not to correct a child than to correct him in harsh, angry, and exasperating ways. But ideally we hit the balance of BOTH - love by bucketfuls and discipline as needed.
Parenting is paradoxical . . .
Blessings,
Derek
That picture of Solomon is great!
ReplyDelete